


running on two empty lungs

by winteryknights (BlackcatNamedlucky)



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27956813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackcatNamedlucky/pseuds/winteryknights
Summary: He screams, a wretched, primal,mangledthing that rips its way out of his chest as he launches himself toward the collapsing building only to be caught around the middle by Bobby and Chimney, and all the fight he ever had pours out of him through the cracks in his heart. It pools in his lungs and forces broken sobs from his throat, twisted as they are with cries of Buck’s name, pleas to anyone listening that he might still be safe.His own voice, torn apart with grief, sounds foreign to his ears.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 16
Kudos: 242





	running on two empty lungs

They’re responding to an apartment fire at the end of a long shift. It seems like everything that could have gone wrong did, and Eddie’s tired, so tired, and Buck was right behind him when he left that building, he swears, but he doesn’t see him now. He doesn’t see him now, and Bobby can’t get a hold of him on the radio, and he can’t help but run through every worst-case scenario, every scenario where Buck doesn’t come home with him at the end of the night, every scenario where he never will again. It feels like his heart is breaking in slow motion.

When he hears the explosion, sees a fresh tongue of flame pour itself down the side of the building, it shatters.

He screams, a wretched, primal, _mangled_ thing that rips its way out of his chest as he launches himself toward the collapsing building only to be caught around the middle by Bobby and Chimney, and all the fight he ever had pours out of him through the cracks in his heart. It pools in his lungs and forces broken sobs from his throat, twisted as they are with cries of Buck’s name, pleas to anyone listening that he might still be safe.

His own voice, torn apart with grief, sounds foreign to his ears.

He can hear Bobby still trying to radio Buck, it comes to him muted but clear enough that he can hear the empty seconds that follow his calls, like the universe is mocking him, like he’s been thrown into the ocean with a cinderblock on his chest and he can see the people who pushed him under laughing as he descends through the waves.

He closes his eyes, trying to shut out the burning of tears and smoke, and tries to keep his knees from giving out. At some point, he’s not sure when, Bobby and Chimney had let him go, and he sinks back against the truck in a desperate attempt to ground himself.

After a few agonizing moments—seconds that seem to be ticking by through molasses—he hears someone calling his name, and suddenly someone’s shaking his shoulder. His eyes fly open, panicked, frantic, and then,

he sees him, walking away from the side of the building that’s still mostly intact, a kid slung over his shoulders. It’s like his heart starts beating again, watching Buck cross the lot to the ambulance, where he carefully hands over the child to Chimney, looking around. When he spots Eddie, he bats away Hen’s probing hands and covers the distance between them in a few, easy strides until he’s standing in front of him again, hands bracketed against Eddie’s hips, eyes (clear, pupils equal, reactive) searching his.

“Oh, _Eddie_ ,” he murmurs (breathing even), as Eddie’s hands, shaking, come to rest on either side of his face. He takes his hands from Eddie’s hips, raises them to circle around his wrists instead, and turns his head, pressing a kiss to one of Eddie’s palms. “I’m sorry,” he says, lips still pressed to Eddie’s hand. “The radio must’ve gotten busted, by the time I figured it out it was too late. I’m so sorry.”

Eddie shakes his head, wants to say that Buck has no reason to apologize, but the words are dammed up behind the tightness in his throat. He settles for leaning forward into Buck, pressing their foreheads together, breathing the same sour, smoky air. Buck sheds his turnout jacket carefully, still keeping hold of Eddie’s wrists as much as he can, then guides Eddie’s right hand to his chest, presses it right over his heart, and Eddie collapses with a choked-off sob.

Buck guides them down until they’re both on their knees, wrapping his arms around Eddie and holding him up, all the while whispering assurances that he’s here, he’s not going anywhere, not if he has anything to say about it.

“Can’t lose you,” Eddie mutters into the crook of his neck.

“Not going anywhere,” Buck responds, rubbing a firm hand down his back.

Later, they’ll sleep it off at the station, Buck curled around Eddie, fitted together like puzzle pieces. For now, it’s enough just to know the other is there.

**Author's Note:**

> the series of events that led to this was- got bored, started watching this show, blinked and somehow I had already finished the show???, decided that buck and eddie are in love, decided to commemorate this by writing a quick little h/c fic when I should have been studying for finals. now here we are!  
> you can find me on tumblr at [the-sneering-menagerie](https://the-sneering-menagerie.tumblr.com) if you'd like to chat. thanks for reading!


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